Coming to Terms
by cheekybby
Summary: Luke has just told Leia she is his sister and she isn't sure how to come to terms with that. Her thoughts before the battle of Endor, about Luke, Vadar and where she goes from there.


**Disclaimer: I don't own anything and make no profit from this.**

**First fic in this fandom. I'm not really sure what made me do it haha. I think it is just an interesting topic to think about. She had no time to really take it all in, so what was her thought process. I tried to be realistic and hope I did her justice**

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Sister. Brother. Father. Vader. It all seemed wrong. It was too much to take in and there are too many words and thoughts and feelings rushing through my head. If being a Jedi means harnessing this chaos to make it stop, then I want that more than anything! That is what Luke meant. That I have a connection to this 'force' he has so much faith in. I don't. I was told all about the old Republic and the so called Jedi who were meant to protect it with their connection to the force. They failed and now we are fighting just to survive.

I'm a twin. We are part of the last stand against the Empire and we never knew about the one thing that might have given us another reason to keep fighting. I have a twin and my father is the very evil we are trying to stop. I am descended from a man who has done unspeakable things, the very man who was the centrepiece of my childhood nightmares. What does that make me?

I would say it would make me just as bad if it was not for Luke. He is my brother and so it seems my twin. Is it possible to live without the other half of yourself for so long? I was always told that twins just _knew_ that they felt the connection of their brother or sister at all times and that it was a bond that could not be broken. Was that a lie? Is anything I know to be the truth real? I don't know anymore. I don't know anything apart from that we have to get that shield generator down to have any chance at all for the rebellion and right now that seems impossible. I felt a connection to Luke, of course I did, but it wasn't anything like you hear in the stories. He had saved my life and came to fight for our cause and how could I not feel a connection to that?

A twin connection though. There was no instant realisation that the other was someone special and when I think back on it now, the looks he gave me seem inappropriate. It seems so strange to even attempt to contemplate us being siblings yet I feel like there is a part of me that has already accepted it. Part of me even thinks I could get used to it. A little something is already gnawing away at me, telling me he is in the skies above me. He needs me. They all do. He needs me to pull myself together and get out there, fight this battle and get that generator down so we can end this. Regain the freedom we shouldn't have to fight for.

Only then can I try to move forward and see what place Luke will have in my life. There is no question of that. There can't be. We have lost so many years for reasons we don't even know to try to understand and no matter what happens I can't imagine us losing any more. A million thoughts race through my mind even as I change my clothes and ready my blaster. How did our father become Vader? It never seemed to matter before but now, now I know he must have been something more than a soldier of evil at some time. Only the man before the mask could be our father and though I believe there is nothing but pure evil left in him now, I wonder about before. Who was our mother? I wasn't allowed to ask too many questions. My.....my adopted father said it was too painful to think of her. He clearly knew her, does that mean he knew my father too? Does he know what he became? Has he lied to me all my days?

I have never given those questions any thought before. They didn't seem important because I had a family that loved me and I thought that was all that mattered. Now I wonder who knew about Luke and who he was, where he was? Why was he left on a desert wasteland when I was not? Luke had family on his home planet, my family. Why did no one think I had a right to know them? Why were we separated at all? Of course separating us had led us to where we are today but it still doesn't seem right! Who else had lied to me? Vader clearly never knew of us, I doubt we would be alive if he did and I certainly wouldn't have gotten away from the death star if he had the slightest inclination that I was his daughter.

I can't think. I can't take things in. I'm being pulled into a battle and I need to concentrate but all I can think about is how everything I thought I knew has been torn apart. Han will see something is wrong and ask what and I can't tell him! Not without Luke. Not without knowing what is going to happen. I don't know anything myself so I can't be questioned. I just can't.

I never thought I would have a sibling. I never thought I would know who my biological parents were. But I never thought I would lead a rebellion either. I never thought I would do allot of the things that have happened in my life. I just need time. I need time but I don't have any because this is it. This is the last battle and coming to terms will have to wait otherwise there will be nothing left to come to terms with.

**Reviews and Concrit welcome. Thank you for reading.**


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